Mar, you did great with the phone situation. It must have hurt like heck, but you did the right thing.
I have been wanting to chime in on an earlier post you did where you considered going to your home country. I have often thought that if I didn’t have young children at home, I would have gone on a walkabout or sabbatical or visit overseas friends for a few months and let my head clear and the dust settle in my situation. There is something to be said for just stepping out of the chaos and pain for a period of time. The gift of working from home is that you can take work anywhere right now, so carpe diem. And it allows for some space for you to protect your heart from W’s behavior.
I am one of those people who could not tolerate an IHS; the daily rejection and pain was too much for me to bear. I am barely able to stand this real S we are currently in. So I completely relate to you not wanting to continue living together right now. Maybe leaving for a set period of time could allow you the space to figure out your next move without further emotional damage; but also buy you time from having to make some big decisions (who lives where, splitting of assets etc) under emotional duress.
Your W could be in the midst of an MLC. If so, (and even if not), her A is on her timeline, not yours. So stepping out of the way might allow their flame to burn out faster, or at least for some resolution to unfold quicker than if you are in the picture. Some affairs are attractions of ‘otherness’ and ‘illicitness’; if you take away their shield of secrecy (by removing yourself), it may eliminate the intrigue.
Either way, do what is best for YOU right now. I keep having to tell myself that only I can protect me, H isn’t going to Protect me now, even if he used to in the past.
