KG, you sound good. As awful as this is you sound calm and rational. I'm so glad for you. It doesn't make it easy but perhaps it makes it easier.
I hope you find a path for you that you can move forward in. My only advice is this: do not bend yourself backwards to handle any discomfort your ww might feel regarding the house. Consider carefully what is best for you both emotionally and financially, and then advocate for/work towards that. Some things you may get, some you may not. But don't add to your own burden either emotionally or financially just to make it so she does not need to feel pain over her childhood home. That's not yours to carry.
One clarifying question: This savings that WW is able to make - is that in only her name, or is it joint? If it is in only her name I might suggest she start contributing to the household costs more now. Otherwise she's building a nest egg you may have no access to, while you carry an uneven load. If things are not contentious at home now it might be a good time to bring it up and suggest a portion she could contribute.
Because you're married, sure, you could fight for it in court if you end up that route. But honestly, I think the easiest way forward is to spend as little time fighting in court as possible. You can prep for that now in the event it comes to that point.
