I am trying with the self care. I have been able to dull my emotions a bit and turn off the constant self talk in my head. Although, I am still tearing up daily whenever a random thought pops appears. Have also been able to get some sleep the past couple of nights. My W continues to be distant. I try not to initiate any conversation. I do respond when she speaks to me. All talks revolve around the house and work. She did ask about my father (cronically ill with Parkinson's) last night for the first time in the past two weeks. I am working on detachment.
I have a doctor's appointment on Oct 29 that I do not want to miss but I am leaning towards leaving afterwards. Will go to my families home. We'll see what happens over the course of the next couple of weeks. Have already started to look at plane tickets. If my W has any love left for me, I don't think it is going to hit her unless I am gone.
I really don't want to be here for Thanksgiving would rather spend it with my family. She is going to have a tough time explaining to her family why I am not here but I'm sure she will just tell them that my dad is not doing well and I had to go see him.
