Single man from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Trying to update a bit and I've missed the last two posts here -

AS - thank you! I think two years ago if I would have gained weight I'd probably freak out but now that I know what I am capable of, I don't stress about it. I've actually put on 10kg(22lbs) in the past few months on purpose to build muscle mass. My face is rounder and I've swelled up a bit it seems but as long as you know you have that discipline, it doesn't bother me. Starting sometime in November, I'll be back to toning again.

lupacex, no problem but how come you haven't started a thread on your own?

To update on my sitch - I feel great but I'm still nowhere near where I wanna be. The reason I say this is because I feel great right now. But that's also because I have so many amazing GAL activities planned. On Friday I travel to Copenhagen to one of the best restaurants in the world together with a close friend. I haven't had a cheat day in a long time so it will be a cheat weekend!

Next week I have a dinner planned at a new restaurant with my brother and some of our friends I haven't seen in a while.

The weekend after that, my friends and business partners from Greece are traveling here from Thursday to Sunday. I'll be taking them to my favorite places. So pretty much all of October is filled with fun things to do. But I need to learn to feel good without all those things. Seems that as soon as I have something planned, even if it's weeks from now, I feel good but when I have nothing special planned, I feel lonely. This is something I need to improve.

Finally, when it comes to XW there is a place I hope I can get to and that is forgiveness. I've gone pretty much NC the past month. She messaged me asking for a recipe a few weeks ago but besides that nothing. I hope some day I get to a point where I can look at this and not feel any anger about what has happened but I am not there yet so I try not to think about it at all. When I do, I can easily spiral to unhappy thoughts. Thoughts as small as, couldn't all this have happened before I spent a fortune on a wedding or thoughts about why I didn't just go NC and never looked back ever again because she doesn't deserve any more. But I digress...

Back to cuddling with my dog and try to do P90X at home while he runs after me with his toys.