Newbie trust/dishonesty issues. Help!

[Steve_]

[/quote] I know I should be happy because she reached out to me. But to me that comment meant “I’m glad to know that we’ll always be able to this even when we’re divorced. Again I shouldn’t be mind reading but that’s how I feel. Does anyone have any insight into this?[/quote]

Well I see this as a test, she probably said that to test your strength as a man and in a way you failed and in a way you passed. As long as you didn’t break down and cry and beg or something it’s not a big loss. But I think a better response would have been to tell her “I wouldn’t count on always” with a James Bond kind of smile. That would have shown her she means something to you but that you also mean something to you. At any rate I feel like what she did was a test to see if you would fall apart and kudos for you that you did not.

My wife told me when I blew the candles on my cake out earlier not to wish for her not to divorce me. Then she laughed and said oh “too soon?” Later I told her calmly that I wasn’t mad about it and I found that disrespectful. She was sitting on the bed and started messing with me to make me laugh. She tested my strength to see if I would let that disrespectful thing she said make me sad and I didn’t I called her on it. You gotta channel that inner James Bond, that has the confidence that you deserve her and you can do this right because you can and because that is what will attract her back. Easier said than done but try to be that confident and charming man at all times. It’s damn near impossible for a woman not to be attracted to that. (As long as you take care of your body and so on). It makes you strong and in control of your emotions. She wants you to be more of a man than she is. But don’t forget to be charming you got this! Don’t pursue her at all but when she reaches out be a confident charming man. Then pull right back away. And stay away. Eventually she will see that you don’t need her cause you don’t pursue and she likes what your doing. (Hopefully)

Other men will pursue, pursue, pursue which is needy and tells her that they are not worthy of her. Eventually she will agree with it. As long as you maintain that your this new man that has value and you don’t back slide she will eventually believe that too.