We do share a cuddle and open mouth kissing daily usually initiated by me and we have had sex several times since she came back (shes been back around a month and a half).
This does feels different from the last time she came back where she was still working with the AP. Also just to clarify she was leaving the job as I told her I could not have her working with the AP anymore and so she requested a move to another location but the workplace couldn't accomedate this so she quit.
When I said I support her greiving for the AP I am not talking about her crying in my arms for him, she told me how she felt and I told her that it was to be expected regardless of how it ended and I understood that she had to go through a process.
I think looking at it from my point of view I have been too full on with her and have love bombed her which is why she may have pulled back somewhat. Its likley too much too soon and because I am affectionate by nature I am expecting her to be the same which of course is leading the doubts when she is not and she has explicitly told me today that its too much too soon so I am going pull back somewhat and stop trying so hard.
Nothing seemed forced when she came back and she would say ILY a few times including locking eyes with me and tell me during sex.
So how do you square the above with what you wrote before:
Originally Posted by WMWB
With the pull back on her initiating any affection which could be due to her restarting her anti-depressants which I have brought up with her, I told her it would be nice if she came to me now and again with a cuddle or I love you rather than me always initiating it. She does tell me she loves me before we go to sleep. Add the insecurities about the phone and I am really struggling just now. I have a lot of stuff going round my head and most of it is doubt and I am questioning things like does she really love me? is the things she is doing on purpose to push me away or does she really want to be with me? am I enough for her? Is she texting the AP again (which is what happened before when she came back the first time). I then question myself like am I putting too much pressure on her and expecting too much too soon, or am I just having doubts about us because its early days still. I feel right now I am hyper-vigilant about everything and some things are probably daft like I text her I love you and she send back an emoji heart and I am like why won't she just text love rather than an emoji OR if I tag her in a nice message on facebook she puts a like rather than a love (I know it sounds mental) it seems I am looking at everything and watching out for signs she does love me OR that she may be about to drop another bomb. I'm just feeling really down just now and I have an appointment with the Dr as I feel I am suffering with a bit of depression and need to deal with that.
Those two quotes seem like polar opposites. So which is it? She's been great and doing everything she should? Or you feel she is pulling back, and should be more affectionate?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
