I did not take marriage lightly. I was prepared to fight. But you both have to be moving in the same direction. I don't know if leaving and taking her at her word is the best for you, but I can say that it was for me. You need to truly sit with it and turn off the noise and hear what your own soul is telling you to do without guilt and without societal pressure moving you either way. One of the benefits of being gay and fighting subtle or overt disapproval is that we learn very quickly how to navigate our own lives and dismissing those who don't believe in us.
Yail, thank you for the advice. I really am leaning towards your approach. She and I have spent 21 years of our lives together. When me married, as far as I was concerned, it was forever. We have both made mistakes throughout our relationship and have hurt each other but have always managed to stick it out. Our attempt at MC was an effort to overcome past mistakes and learn to positively move forward. I sincerely believed we were making great progress after a year of MC then the OW appeared. The past year has been an absolute mess and she actually told me on Saturday that she is no longer in love with me. I am desperately trying to muster the strength and courage to leave. If she truely doesn't want me or want to save this marriage then I have no reason to stay.
