WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

It was an up and down week for me...

On the bright side I took the kids for ice cream with friends on Wednesday, coached S5's soccer practice on Thursday, took the kids to the pumpkin farm on Saturday and then to a State Park for hiking in the Fall foliage yesterday. I'm seeing and engaging with them as much as possible, and we're all really enjoying it. I love them so much and between me and my parents trying to give them all the love and stability we can.

Unfortunately the encounter with W's grandmother (not the encounter itself but the follow up days later) shook me a bit. All the phone calls and voicemail from her about how she should have called the police, and W's attorney wrote a letter threatening to charge me with trespassing...all because I show up a bit early to pick up D2 for my scheduled evening with the kids. I don't know if W's grandmother (84) is starting to have elderly issues or if this is purposefully malicious but I didn't do a single thing that could be construed as threatening. I just went to pick up my daughter. It's a shame there's such an escalation on W's side instead of being reasonable. I read on heard WWs aren't rational, but it's still hard to get my head around it.

Also the OM2 situation did get to me. I suppose I need to work harder on detaching. During the weeks is fine but on kids transition when I she her and then hear news like this, it shows I'm not 100%. I guess I feel into the trap of many LBSs that she fell hard for her co-worker/AP/OM1 who was in the right place at the right time and if/when that ended she might come out of the fog and see how good of a husband/father I am. Instead she's just turning to the next guy, so obviously it's not a one-off thing and she still sees me as the enemy. I've thought about this while contemplating dating on my own as well. W originally told me that she was broken down and needed to focus on herself and not be in any relationship right now - though she was lying because she was already had OM1 - which is the advice many people on this forum give. I wonder if she's jumping into these relationships to mask her own issues rather than working on herself, and by me holding off I'll be in a better place in the long run. Based on the guys involved it doesn't bode well for her long-term.

My L said W/W's attorney filed to have a judge assigned to the case which my attorney said it's not a big deal but a way to speed up the process, so again...W is pushing things along and not showing any signs of wavering or laziness you hear about from other WSs/WAWs on this board. I honestly think I'd be ok with the marriage end at this point if not for the kids involved, but who knows.