How am I going to do this? Should I do this?

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Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this? Mar252 #2905014 10/04/20 07:04 PM
Joined: May 2011 Posts: 1,498 Likes: 106 Los Angeles, CA V Valeska19 Member
Valeska19 Member V Joined: May 2011 Posts: 1,498 Likes: 106 Los Angeles, CA	Originally Posted by Mar252 My W and I had a huge blowup yesterday and like so many others on here, I got the I love you but am not in love with you anymore. After 21 years together she emphatically said that she doesn't want our marriage anymore. Wants us to definitively separate. So now, I have a decision to make, begin living separate lives in the same home or just get my affairs in order and leave. Your wife is all over the place. One week she wants to not separate. The next week she does. Unfortunately her emotional swing is quite par for the course. That is why you must do your best to ground yourself in her storm. Detach, GAL, think what's really good for you. Originally Posted by Mar252 I love my W with all of my heart and soul but I am done begging her to love me back. I really don't think the consequences of her actions are going to hit her unless I leave. I think she will feel it most acutely during the holidays. Then stop begging. Follow the rules as best you can. I totally second others warning with "having life teach her things" Whilst this is absolutely true - it's not a healthy way to set boundaries. You set them for you.. based off your needs. Originally Posted by Mar252 To all the LBS, if you had the option to stay or go when you first had your BD's what would you have done? I am open to all advice and opinions. I definitely agree with Yail that things have changed on this board. One thing I have noticed changed is from the push to stay in the home to a push to physically separate. I don't think neither is bad, The main goal being is about creating an environment that we can be our best self in. That's different for every person. You have to decide what's best for you. At the same time - it's important to protect yourself. The house technically belongs to your wife's family correct? That changes things from what rights you have to stay verses her right to kick you out. Be prepared for the worst whilst hoping for the best. Also what's the gameplan with your kiddo? Do you have equal rights as parents? If you leave the house - how does it affect him/her? M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12 Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear. Love at all costs because you are loved well.

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/27/20 05:10 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	job	09/27/20 06:13 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/27/20 09:50 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	09/28/20 01:55 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/28/20 03:22 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	09/28/20 11:37 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 12:36 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	ovrrnbw	09/28/20 02:33 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/28/20 03:33 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/28/20 03:45 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/28/20 10:01 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/28/20 10:04 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Cadet	09/28/20 10:07 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 12:11 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	09/29/20 02:12 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 07:49 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Cadet	09/29/20 01:18 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	09/29/20 01:40 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 03:21 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	BL42	09/29/20 04:21 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 04:56 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	09/29/20 09:36 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/29/20 10:13 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	09/29/20 11:22 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	BL42	09/30/20 01:07 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	09/30/20 05:40 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	09/30/20 11:06 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Ready2Change	10/01/20 08:15 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Sage4	10/02/20 06:18 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/04/20 02:21 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	10/04/20 03:56 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/04/20 04:14 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	PLC	10/04/20 05:28 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	10/04/20 05:35 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	10/04/20 07:04 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/05/20 04:10 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Ready2Change	10/05/20 05:26 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/05/20 09:54 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/04/20 06:30 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/04/20 10:04 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/05/20 04:24 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	10/06/20 12:19 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/06/20 11:03 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	10/06/20 08:42 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/07/20 03:58 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/07/20 04:09 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/07/20 08:13 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/08/20 12:48 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Sage4	10/08/20 04:01 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/08/20 04:09 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	10/09/20 02:00 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/09/20 02:22 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	10/10/20 04:43 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	10/08/20 08:15 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/08/20 10:17 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	10/09/20 01:56 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/09/20 01:39 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	KristinG	10/09/20 08:14 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/09/20 09:56 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Core	10/09/20 10:10 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/12/20 08:42 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	10/13/20 12:00 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Sage4	10/13/20 05:58 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/12/20 09:31 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Traveler	10/13/20 12:51 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/14/20 04:02 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/15/20 02:25 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/16/20 01:09 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/16/20 03:14 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Yail	10/16/20 10:15 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/18/20 11:22 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Valeska19	10/20/20 01:35 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/21/20 01:17 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Ready2Change	10/21/20 06:31 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	10/19/20 01:05 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Steve_	10/21/20 03:06 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/23/20 02:21 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	KristinG	10/28/20 04:38 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	10/28/20 11:41 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/03/21 12:47 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Sage4	01/03/21 01:29 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/03/21 02:13 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/06/21 05:29 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	01/07/21 11:48 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/06/21 05:49 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Traveler	01/06/21 09:01 PM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/08/21 03:32 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/08/21 03:48 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	may22	01/08/21 07:44 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/09/21 12:05 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	97Hope	01/10/21 01:48 AM
Re: How am I going to do this? Should I do this?	Mar252	01/10/21 02:50 AM

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