I am a LBS living with IHS. My H lives in our D25 bedroom, and now that she has moved back, she lives in the living room. H gave me the first BD last May 2019 and within a week, left to work out of the country for 3 months. At that time, our D was still at Grad school, so I really had a mini S. During that time he was gone, I discovered OW and H and I did not have any communication at all. I joined a gym and did my own thing with my friends.
Once he returned, it was like the BD just happened. We had to learn to navigate being in the same home, I had gotten used to it being just me and I am sure he got used to living like a teen on vacation for 3 months. He left for "work" at Thanksgiving and New Years. Christmas he stayed and was very nice to my family. I could tell his trip in January was a last ditch effort to try and continue with the OW.
He has since gotten another OW in the other country and this past July he said he wants a D and wants me to stay in the home. That was July. It is now October. There has been no further movement one way or another. Limbo has been hard. Weekends are the worst with the pandemic. Where I would usually head to a Dodger game with my friends or plan some concerts, I am at home. I honestly don't know how it would be if he did leave. I think part of that is that he hangs out here in the home when not at work for 85% of the time. He seems to leave to eat and visit his uncle or walk with his friends.
But how do I muster the strength to walk away when it is the last thing in the world that I want. [/quote] [quote=Mar252]
I hope I am quoting this passage correctly. Just muster enough to get through each day. That's all the energy you need. Go to work if you work, make plans to do what you have wanted to. Cook what you want, whatever it is, do it for you. I have told myself, if H found OW here and was out all night I might be more inclined to ask him to leave. If that is your situation, then think about the boundaries you will not cross.
It is weird, but being "alone" in the home (since he lives in another room most days) I have a new little routine for me. I actually have more time for me and I am learning things for ME. Although, there is much I would like to share with H, I have learned to enjoy it just me. If we get to R one day, i will have a lot to share!
It can be hard, but as others have pointed out here, we are given time. Use it wisely.
