WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

Core,

I'm behind on your sitch but wanted to chime in on recent events.

Thanks for weighing in. I've been reading your sitch as well. Sorry for all you're going through.

The VM from GIL is peculiar. I would think she's heard some awful things about you during this process and is trusting her family that all is true. Documenting this was helpful. It's awful and it does sound best to keep distance from her until some time passes. Especially while Ding to keep it low conflict. Sorry you are losing not just W but the in laws that you've bonded with.

I documented it and sent it to L, but I agree it's peculiar. I'm not exaggerating when I say she LOVED me and me family, perhaps more than her own - so to get threats about police a few days later when there was absolutely nothing I did to prompt that and things were completely civil seems so bizarre. Makes me wonder if she was coached after the fact.

With how much your W was in to "Mr Perfect", its shocking there could be OM2 but I'm not surprised after reading the boards. OM2 may be someone she's lining up to take OM1s place if it dont work out. After all, how can she trust a cheater. Being around your kids is another thing. What Ovr mentioned comes to mind....you control what you can. In the divorce you can mention you dont want the kids introduced to a new person for a set amount of time however my understanding is no one enforces it. I feel your pain on this one. What you can do is work on yourself. You're likely clouded with feelings about his character. I would be too. As an outsider, he sounds to me like an already divorced guys guy, not looking for commitment. Gosh, I may be a guy living at my dads, going to strip clubs after this dry spell.

The conversations between W and AP/OM1 were fanciful. Just a few months ago they were "each other's one and only person", "no one ever loved them for themselves", and they had dreams of when they could D and live together with the kids playing in the yard. When their employer and both spouses found out I guess things changed. The existence of OM2 has made me question myself all over again - even when OM1 may be out of the picture she's still seeking out others and not me, and people who are drastically different.

No one will replace you as dad unless you let them. You'll always be dad to the kids. I equally am disgusted at the thought of someone else raising my kids. Something that helped and hurt me is the likelihood of anyone sticking around for awhile is slim. I dont know whats worse, multiple step dads, or one that stays. Ideally none but thats where you come in...create stability for those kids.

Thanks, will do. I've put so much focus on the kids over the last 8 months. I'm doing everything I can to see them as much as I can and make sure they know they're loved. It's quite possible, even likely, she won't be happy with OM1 and he won't last. Just hate the idea of him being an influence on the kids and the potential instability for them.