It feels good to talk about this with people who are dealing/ have dealt with this MLC madness. I have read many of your threads now and can only express my huge respect for all of you, Peacetoday, KML, Gerda and Wooba.
I have a specific question in regard to bounderies.
When he was with OW and the time after, when he was living at home and crazy behavior (OW withdrawal etc.) I was able to put clear bounderies on him and these actually worked very well.
We knew he had to leave to the other country for work and he always had an excuse to postpone the move until I friendly forced him to do so since I also needed some time on my own and together with the children since living with someone in MLC is not easy.
The purpose was that he would be 4 to 6 weeks abroad and then come back for about a week. He is here now and I must say that things are going quite well. He is calm, normal drinking behavior, gets groceries, makes dinner some times, works in the garden, talks about work, normal interaction with the children etc.
The only thing I noticed very well is how introverted he is on certain moments during the day. He also still does his sports on a daily basis like he started doing the last month abroad.
I just live my life like I do when he is not here but we also do all sorts of stuff together, on his request. Just like what a married couple with children would do but no affection. I know in my heart that this isn't quite right altough I currently don't want anything more with him either. All we had together as a couple is dead now, even in my head. But there is still love from my side of course, otherwise I wouldn't be standing.
My question to you: Do I have to put a boundary on this kind of behavior? Do I need to say. We can't be just friends and do all this stuff together and still be married?
Basically, is it necessary to put certain bounderies since we are not a couple, but still married and acting as friends?
Also, is the above behavior Limbo, or am I using the wrong word? (English is not my native language and I think sometimes I misinterpretate words)
