She texted me asking for a divorce. I told her I don’t agree with it but if she insists I won’t stop her. Then she changed it to separation first by moving out. Again I told her the same thing; don’t agree but I won’t stop her.
Asked her about the timeline of her moving out and her plan to breaks the news to the kids she replied “slowly”.
My last message to her seems kinda like a push though: “ Ok... I not sure if this is going to push you further away but I want to let you know that I still love you with all that I have. I’ve been trying change myself for the better because I can’t change the past. Should you have a change of heart to give this marriage a try I’ll be 1000% ready to commit again. But should you choose to walk away I will totally understand too and I’m sorry that you feel that way and I’m sorry I’ve unknowingly put you thru so much hardship throughout these years. I’ve never meant for things to turn out this way. Our problem is that we don’t communicate; we kept bottling up our feelings and then we explode. And when things explode no matter what we do it’s already too little too late“
She couldn’t face me physically and chose to tell me these over messages.
The surprising thing is, I’ve felt that coming miles away and I didn’t have any anxiety Attack. I’m very calm right now (maybe I’ll feel the effects when I wake up tomorrow though haha) and I’m not thinking about winning her back at all. All I’m thinking about is my kids. They must be protected at all costs.
Guess I didn’t come out of this like a champ because of the last push message but hey, I’m still learning and I’m still standing.
Guess I need to pop sleeping pills tonight to get to bed haha...
M(36), W(36), D(6), D(4) M-7, T-8 Bomb Drop - Nov 28, 2019 W requested separation - Sep 30, 2020
