[Rita]

If you have the money to do the trip, I would go but make a fun trip out of for yourself, finding a cute place to stay apart from him. You can come and go as you want, and kids can sleep where they feel most comfortable. I tried to do this so my kids could see my MIL, who refused to see me.

Other than that, I would not go to the Skype conferences. I would say hello and then say, "I will let you guys have fun!" and disappear.

I know it hurts to hear that stuff he is saying about choosing, but I think you are interpreting it wrong. Everything he is saying is a lie he is telling himself. He doesn't even know what he feels or thinks. He's just using another way to say the same thing all of our spouses said, to tie you in knots and make you feel horrible about yourself or like it's your fault.

My H was a drinker too. And kept us hanging like yours does. If you have a chance to read my thread, I would suggest that; you can see all the mistakes I made and not make them.

I know how hard it is with the kids. But I protected my kids from the truth about their dad and I think that was a disservice. You can stand for the marriage and pray for your H by yourself and with your kids if you are a faith person, but that doesn't mean you have to participate in this project to hurt you.