Everybody is speaking about the fact that you need get an own life but I find it very difficult to find a balance. Me and the children have a good life now, definitely when he is not @ home. But whenever he feels like coming home and actually does it he wants to do things together with me and the children like going out to restaurants etc. (never alone with me thought, and I don’t ask it either)
He told me once that he gave up “his happiness” and chose us because these are the values he stands for, and I really have the feeling that this is what he is doing now and believes it. I then told him that the worst thing he could do is to stay in our relation because this is what people expect of him (and that he hurts me more with that then anything else) and that if he felt happiness with her that he has to choose for that but then no contact with me, only for the children. He immediately said that he did not meant it like that…
What I want to say is, I love him more than anything in the world, but we are in the best years of our lives and I want to share good things with our children. The past 2 years have been hard for all of us and I want to make the best out of it now which is starting to work bit by bit, but this is very difficult to maintain when he is constantly interrupting things with his crazy behaviour and attitude.
Some questions as I don’t really know how to handle them: I would like to plan a trip with the children in the coming months and honestly, the way he is now I’d rather would like to go without him. How do you deal with this?
He asked if we maybe would come over the end of the year for a week to the other country. I know he now asks this because it is ‘his duty’ to ask us since we are his family. Not because he wants us to be there. I thought to let my children go without me but they don’t want to do that. They only want to go if I go with them. I can see they are often afraid of his crazy behaviour and drinking. Same thing with the skype sessions we do twice a week. He expects to have this with all of us, but since I’m “his friend” now and not his wife, is it a good thing to always be available for him? (the children also want me to be there)
