You're T sounds just awful. Making a bad situation, worse. Reminds me of mine. I can imagine it was a new level of frustrating talking about the affair in the first session you brought it up. You're not alone. I got W to go to one session with me and when I brought up the affair, my W brought up my reaction of when I found out which was me saying it wouldve been easier to have her not come home and me finding out...and the T told her it was awful. They then talked about something else and the light was away from the affair.
You're in the middle of the worst manipulation and gaslighting you'll see and its not easy. Time is a gift that'll help you no matter what if you put the time to good use.
Boundaries by Henry Cloud is a good book on boundaries.
You dont have to immediately do anything. Take the pressure off yourself and figure out what you want to do. Dont tell her what it is, just do it once you know.
Any changes you make must be ones you want. You may be clouded for awhile and convince yourself to change on something that she wanted, not you.
She's going through her own issues and its not anything you can change. You can change you and she may like that new you or not. You may change and not want the old her. Thats ok too. Some people get through infidelity and some cant. Decide if you can, and take your time deciding.
Last edited by Core; 09/29/2002:12 AM.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
