I'm sorry you had a rough weekend. Unfortunately this is what happens when recons are forced or done for the wrong reasons. I think what really gets lost on the board is that when/if the affair ends the marriage will be saved. The affair was a symptom and an act of anger by your husband. Now you are forcing him to end the affair which will build more resentment. It's going to take a really long time to to tear down that wall.
I'm really sorry you are going through this right now. 18 months and still not end in sight would take its toll on anyone.
