You say he’s had depressive episodes before - has he ever been treated for depression? Has his drinking been a problem in the past? Alcoholics often drink to soothe their depression, but alcohol is also a depressant that makes things worse in the long run. Has he ever taken anti-depressants? This is a good time to assess whether this is out of character for your H, of really just an exaggeration or unveiling of who he really is.
As for the kids - it’s terrible they have to experience this at this age (similar to my three). I though DBing and reconciling with my H at that point that I was also doing the best for my kids. I thought we had several more good years before he relapsed into MLC at age 50. However, I found out later that my kids were always waiting for the other show to drop after that first episode. They lived in a state of anxiety because of it.
The very best thing YOU can do for your kids right now is to model strength (they need to know you won’t collapse on them either) and get your financial ducks in a row. Do what you have to do to make sure you will be financially ok if he leaves and tries to duck his financial responsibilities in another country.
