He may very well be at the "tail end" of the replay, but what concerns me is the drinking and still talking about being a cold person. He's fighting w/all he's got not to warm up to you and his family and friends, pre-crisis.
Sure, it can be very normal for the OP to be gone and yet be in replay. You have to remember that some people go into crisis and do not have OP to help them exit a relationship. Keep in mind, she may be gone, but he could also be looking around...but you have to understand that is my opinion. Try to focus on his actions, not his words.
Let me ask you this...has he begun to reconnect w/his old friends, family, etc.? Does he show interest in the family and what all of you are doing? Has he begun to talk more about what he's doing and sounds warmer when speaking to you? Or, is he still playing the "Debbie Downer", the feeling sorry for himself talks?
Again, let's not put our entire focus on the stages, but on the man, what he is saying and doing. Remember...actions speak louder than words. Listen very closely to what he's telling you. You may be able to figure out what is going on in his mind if he's chatty.
If you have not read the thread on reconnection, you may want to visit it. I wrote it many years ago and thus far, it has proven to be spot on when they begin to reconnect.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
