Finding the man I want to be, alone. Pack_19 part3

[Pack_19]

hi all,

For those of you following my situation I wanted to give an update as the 15 days to work on myself internally have come to an end. The only thing I can say is that I feel better, much better, to the point that I am starting another 15 days focused on my internal changes, fixing my control issues and detaching. Maybe 15 days at a time I finally make it to the point where I can properly start DBing for myself.

Nothing has changed with W, we have exchanged the kids 4-5 times and all I said was hello and goodbye and left the first. We have no contact and I have found new and surprising control over my impulses to contact her as well as my response to the pain I am going through. Not that I am fully there, not even close, but I can feel myself improving on there and it is surprisingly rewarding.

I had an amazing weekend with the kids, we went trekking next to a stream, I carried S2 and S6 and we walked into some rocky parts that were demanding, S6 kept going on an on about how we were having a great time. We also tried the pool I bought for the terrace in my parents rural house, it fits perfectly in the patio size and we even had the time to fill it up halfway and enjoy some freezing water fun. I bought new clothes for both of them as soon we expect a weather change, and took the chance to gift myself a couple of ante wardrobe pieces I had been after for a couple of years.

I also ran a total of 29 km this weekend so I feel great physically. have IC today again and some work to do on the work project I am involved now. I can feel things getting better, maybe is because I have distanced from the unhealthy R with W. I just think what is happening to our family and M is very sad, and I cannot change it.

Thank you all, hope you are doing great despite this tiring covid19 situation.

((hugs))
Pack