Mar252 I'm sorry you are going through this. You will find great support here.
Originally Posted by Mar252
We had the separation talk on Friday. Today she tells me, the T told her not to jump into a separation or even begin contemplating a divorce until we sincerely attempt to transition our R into something new if possible. She wants to take it one day at a time and see if we can figure it out.
No more R talks. If she wants to take it a day at a time so be it. When she talks - validate as best you can but don't engage. It will only cause more pain.
Originally Posted by Mar252
I can’t get past the fact that she is in a EA with her co-worker and won’t admit it. I need to re-read the DR and try to figure out how to begin DB despite the way I feel. The biggest challenge for me is getting out of my funk. I really need to learn how to fake it when I am with her.
I saw that in your post that you "definitely" know w is in an EA with OW. Is this because you are snooping, recording her again or do you just have that gut feeling? If you are snooping... stop. The reality is that you can't control what your wife does. You can't control who she talks to. You can certainly ask... which you did and she said no... so now what? What are your boundaries around this issue?
Originally Posted by Mar252
On the other hand I am so tired of trying to fix our M. Don’t know if it is worth the effort after all the lies. I am so conflicted.
That's valid... so let's put the effort on you instead. What do you think you could have done better in your M? What were your wife's complaints?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
