ts funny kk i rarely actually think about recon, not because i do t want my family together, but because i want H to be someone who he isnt at the moment or ever was?!?! The house stuff is stressful and mainly because i have no family here and he has always had my back, i think its difficult to lose that. I dont love the house, its too big for me to maintain with work and boys, but i love what it represented and boys see it as home! S6 said it so clearly, it will be exciting to stay at papas house, but we live here, papa chose to leave. Very profound for a 6 year old. Whatever i buy i want to make sure its not too big and ok for me to maintain and live life. I dont want to stay here and have nothing to spare at the end of the month. I know that recon can happen wherever i live really, it wouldnt matter and as H is renting at the moment and said he plans to for the foreseeable future, if he wanted back and i was still in a place where i was interested he would just give up his rental place. I mean im thinking in absolutes here, i made it very clear that i wont be moving unless i have something lined upfor me and the boys and only if the offer on our house is suitable. You are right though 6 months is nothing, i think it feels lengthy for me because of all the turmoil and im emotionally drained and just when i recover there is something else.
Its the same for everyone really. H is coming to see the boys today at the house and has suggested i leave so he can spend some time with the kids without me here. He said you are always here....which is Sort of true because im working from home, so whenever he comes round during tue day to like pick something up im here. I made plans for some of the time anyway.
I occasionally feel irritated with him, but not angry, i prefer not to have him around.
