Finding calm during the storm

[Rita]

Pretend you are single and have a crappy roommate. Don't try to be fair or teach him a lesson about fairness. You are going to lose some money on this. Separate everything. Delete the app yourself if you can, or get a new one if you can't, or just make sure your name is off it and live without it. Buy your groceries and if he rarely uses them, just live your life. If he is taking your groceries too much and you can't afford to cover it, buy a sharpie and label your stuff.

I forget your sitch and am too rushed to go read it over again but it definitely sounds like you need to live separately! You can keep standing from somewhere else or him being somewhere else.

Go no contact. That means you can't work out these kinds of things. You are trying to make a completely unworkable situation work. Stop talking to him about domestic stuff. Do everything yourself. Ask him for nothing. Be busy. Not to make him do something. To be busy and forget about him. Don't wait for him to do anything he used to do. You are a single woman now, even if you are not. Live as a single woman, everything separate. You are powerful!

If his income is still something you rely on, this gets more complicated,but just do your best. I am in year seven of this @(@$&@#(@ and my H just can't seem to accept any reality that would allow this to resolve so I still have to keep a joint account running for our rental income and mortgage payment -- even though I am the only one on the mortgage. But I see it as a good way to provide evidence that he contributes nothing but that I still count all the rents as half his until this nightmare is over.