(((K))) Sometimes WE judge ourselves the hardest. Awareness is everything , so we can begin to change
None of this was your fault and I believe we all do the best we can where we are I had to work on me and let XH go to work on himself Hang in there
Thx peacetoday-You’ve helped me spin my mind from focusing on the negative judging of myself and instead make it about awareness. Sometimes it’s just a reframe, perspective change...
I also like the reminder of “we all do the best we can where we are”. We (H and I) did the best we could where we were. This MLC/ behaviour/ treatment doesn’t fit the “crime”...
Sage4- thank you for your words and recognizing the positive actions I’m taking ...I need to pause more in that area and shift my focus a little more to how far I’ve come. Crappy circumstances, but so glad to have you here...I see you too. (((Sage)))
Originally Posted by DnJ
Your feelings for H are entering indifference, and therefore will seem and feel fake. Indifference is a strange landscape with other feelings appearing larger than they actually are when held against the void of feelings towards H. This is temporary, your feelings will and do return. Embrace this indifference and discover your values and beliefs without all the noise and distraction of H.
This just flipped a light switch in me that made me realize I’ve been travelling this journey viewing most things as being final.
Because of the way H has communicated with me during BD and because of the slow moving nature of this, I think it’s easy to get stuck feeling like things will always be like this or craving forward movement (whether to dissolve this or reconcile).
You just hit home for me how much of this is temporary- the things he says, the way he feels, the things he does, the way I feel, etc etc etc.... for me I think I need to let go of my “logical, organized mind” and live in the “temporary” ... knowing that this is ok. I’m safe, there’s nothing to fear, I will be ok.
This is an unchosen adventure, but I’m ok to live my life and explore this new suspended reality.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, she’s a pretty awesome gal who has been through a lot. Believe it. D
(((Dnj))) you are such a sweet person and that’s nice to hear. Thank you.
