Just journaling a bit. We lost our senior dog last week. He was 14.5 yo, had several health problems and was a big dog, so we knew we had to let him go. I haven’t cried this much in years. Maybe since my sitch 6 years ago. I didn’t know it would be so hard. He was such a calm, present and loyal guy. My emotions are not just about the loss of him, but the reminder that he was there for all of it. The only stable one. He was there through it all — before things fell apart, birth of the third child, watched them grow up, bought our first home, my oldest D was diagnosed BPD, my father died, my M fell apart, H left me for OW, I sent my D out of state, H came back, D came back, H lost his mother, and on and on. He was right there. I feel so much gratitude for him. And also for the way we came together as a family. We have cried together, held one another, talked about how he is part of our family, and H and I have reminisced about the good times and bad. In our own grief, it somehow feels cathartic and right. I’m glad H and I are still together. I value him in so many ways. I stopped trying so hard to push my feelings around and work on the M, and then somehow it got easier. He is a good man. I can see that more clearly now.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
