[unchien]

Argghhhhh. This man will argue against himself if it means he wins against me.

Exactly. It supports his narrative. Don't take the bait.

He also said that S2 has 'increasingly shown signs of helicopter parenting over the last twelve months'. Twelve months ago he was still a baby-- is he suggesting I should have been less attentive to his needs? I went straight to the daycare for evidence and they said S2 is one of the most independent, well-adjusted and well-behaved kids in their care.

It sounds to me like your H has a L in his ear.

In the same paragraph as that helicopter parenting accusation, he denied the behavioural changes I raised, saying that S2 shows a preference for Dad (not that I've seen, but okay). So if S2 is that comfortable in his care, how is my parenting having a negative effect? Surely S2 would be anxious about leaving my presence if it were true?

See above.

The signs are there that your H is preparing legal groundwork in case you can't come to an agreement beforehand. Every man in his position will have the same advice of what to look for to support their argument.

It's too easy to poke holes in his arguments.

You are assuming you are engaging with somebody using logic and reason. He is using emotional reasoning. No point engaging.

For the record, I always encourage S2 to spend time and have fun with dad, to listen and obey his rules, to share his thoughts and feelings, and to remember he is safe. Anything less would sow seeds of insecurity and instability in S2's mind, and why the heck would I want to do that?

Not only is this important, I encourage you to document and journal that you do this (just facts). It will counter any legal argument he could potential make that you are not supporting his relationship with S2.

On the plus side, we have agreement on all but two of the articles in the parenting plan. We've agreed on communication, holiday time, extracurriculars, medical, schooling. Just the weekly schedule and Christmas to go. I'm firm on the core arrangement for both, but flexible on the particulars. Will continue negotiating pleasantly on my part.

This is encouraging. Hopefully all the discord is saber-rattling on his part and you two can come to some sort of arrangement on the weekly schedule. That is the toughest one to close.

Your maturity all through this process is going to pay off for you and S2 in the long run.