Argghhhhh. This man will argue against himself if it means he wins against me. For example, he wanted dinner once a week with S2. I agreed and offered extended time to allow for dinner, bathtime and travel home. He wrote back saying no, it's too late for a toddler to be out at night. At 7:30pm. S2's bedtime is 8pm, but okay.
He also said that S2 has 'increasingly shown signs of helicopter parenting over the last twelve months'. Twelve months ago he was still a baby-- is he suggesting I should have been less attentive to his needs? I went straight to the daycare for evidence and they said S2 is one of the most independent, well-adjusted and well-behaved kids in their care.
I look at S2 in comparison to the children of my friends and he is advanced in nearly every aspect, but his social skills are particularly impressive. He is incredibly verbal for his age, his grasp of manners and etiquette is amazing (because I enforce it), he addresses his peers and adults confidently and clearly, he is able to articulate his feelings and needs.
In the same paragraph as that helicopter parenting accusation, he denied the behavioural changes I raised, saying that S2 shows a preference for Dad (not that I've seen, but okay). So if S2 is that comfortable in his care, how is my parenting having a negative effect? Surely S2 would be anxious about leaving my presence if it were true?
It's too easy to poke holes in his arguments. For the record, I always encourage S2 to spend time and have fun with dad, to listen and obey his rules, to share his thoughts and feelings, and to remember he is safe. Anything less would sow seeds of insecurity and instability in S2's mind, and why the heck would I want to do that?
On the plus side, we have agreement on all but two of the articles in the parenting plan. We've agreed on communication, holiday time, extracurriculars, medical, schooling. Just the weekly schedule and Christmas to go. I'm firm on the core arrangement for both, but flexible on the particulars. Will continue negotiating pleasantly on my part.
