Need advice on stubborn W

[AKuei]

Journaling

Got blindsided by W yesterday morning. My kids came running to me excited and saying they are going to the aquarium and staying at the hotel. I have no idea this was the plan.

Went to W to confirm if I'm hearing this correctly; she's bringing the kids out and staying OVERNIGHT at a hotel?
She responded with a soft "Yeah, you can do do your own things then "

I told her with a poker face, "Look, I have a lunch appointment followed by the kickboxing session, then I'm heading home to prepare for dinner. If you're heading to the hotel, what about me? Can you at least let me know earlier if you are bringing the kids out for overnight stays? They are my kids too."

She responded with another "Yeah" and off she goes with my kids. Told my kids to have fun and listen to mommy and I didn't hear from them till now.

And my tenant (who is friends with my W), gave me a lot information about my W which I never had the intention to ask.

- W is trying to convince the tenant to move out so she can take over the spare room (meaning she wants to move out of our master bedroom)
- W is also exploring moving out of the house by the end of the year
- W is behaving extremely frustrated when out with the kids, losing her cool when the kids are not in line; and fumbling at the simplest things at times. Not sure what to make of it
- W has been spending money like no tomorrow; buying jewellery, a 2nd phone (fishy), new tattoos, tonnes of new clothes, etc
- W told her in the face she did not recall mentioning divorce. (when I heard it I nearly burst out laughing)
- W asked my D6 and D4 who they like more. D6 said dad, D4 said both (well done). Then she tried to pivot the narrative to my D6 the reason she likes me is because i let her play video games and watch youtube. Tenant stopped her immediately and told my kids you don't take sides; both are equals. This information really pissed me off.

I thanked the tenant about sharing those information and told her I cannot control what my wife thinks, feels and does. I will only control myself and make sure I put my kids and myself as priority now. if she chooses the D eventually, I will not stop her but I will not help her too. And if she wants to contest it, I will do what is best for my kids.

And now, after so many months of roller coaster ride, I'm finally at a place where I'm not thinking about reconciliation. I still love my wife very much but I don't think i can put up with this version of her. My marriage is dead 100%. It's either we start M2.0 where we both put in the effort to change (I'm not completely faultless here and I own it), or I will be a darn good second husband to someone else.