At times when I’ve shown emotion to a family member I’m almost always asked “what happened”? And I’m feeling very aware and self conscious that the answer is usually “not much, nothing” or some minor L interaction. I beat myself up because I feel weak.
Most of the time I have no answers as to what triggered me. Am I upset that he’s gone now? Well he’s not nice when he’s here, or ignores me so why should that bother me?
Am I upset that I don’t know where he is? Maybe ...but I’ve been fired and why should I pay that any mind?
I rarely think it’s a pin pointed event and more the exhaustion from the overall situation.
Do you have someone who you can confide to? When I first told a selected few about my sitch, it was liberating. Then as time went on I felt more ready and comfortable with telling a few more people....and slowly I felt like more weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I still feel melancholy at times. My advice for you is to find lots of distractions for yourself. For me it was starting a new business, going to the gym, little projects around the house.
We all have our weak moments, but that does not mean we are weak. Allow yourself to process these emotions when they hit, but also find enough distractions so that these emotional waves don't hit too often. ((hugs))
((hugs))