It means so much to me to be able to come on her for reassurance, kindness, understanding and advice.
Thx peacetoday and Cardinal. I’m feeling a bit more like myself tonight and would definitely prefer to not go down that path of emotions again, but I do think I’m learning something about myself.
I’m not very nice to myself. I honestly think after becoming overwhelmed with the MLC situation, the epic meltdown was much more a result of me beating myself up for being so upset and coming undone. I feel like a year in with no real changes I should be coasting along fine and living my GAL life
At times when I’ve shown emotion to a family member I’m almost always asked “what happened”? And I’m feeling very aware and self conscious that the answer is usually “not much, nothing” or some minor L interaction. I beat myself up because I feel weak.
Most of the time I have no answers as to what triggered me. Am I upset that he’s gone now? Well he’s not nice when he’s here, or ignores me so why should that bother me?
Am I upset that I don’t know where he is? Maybe ...but I’ve been fired and why should I pay that any mind?
I rarely think it’s a pin pointed event and more the exhaustion from the overall situation.
Not sure why my feelings didn’t just wash over me this time. Time to move on and focus on me again. Thx For the reminder Cardinal That sometimes it’s as simple as doing something you enjoy to reenergize and refocus. It is hard when the pattern of behaviour shifts...but it also means I’m paying too much attention again.
You are so right peacetoday...so many people have done it and are doing it and also have so much more responsibility than I do. It’s definitely helpful to push fear aside and embrace change ...just sometimes I want to flip to the “end of the book” ...I want to know how this plays out. I’m not one for suspense,
Originally Posted by peacetoday
Allow it, feel it and maybe listen to some strong speakers or positive messengers on u tube anyone from Michelle to any pastor or religious person to any motivational speaker than resonates with you Give yourself some I can message...
I would like that peacetoday- maybe somewhere to start if you have a motivational speaker recommend?
I will hold on and move past this next episode and whatever it holds.
