I'm not lecturing, (I did a lot of this myself early on...) but I'd like to point out what "pushing" does to them.
It really wore on me. It didn't break me down and make me feel warm and loving toward him. It did the opposite.
I have asked him repeatedly not to want answers about our M or relationship right now - because I don't know, and I can't go there at the moment. If I could, I wouldn't be in my own apt.
Even if they didn't verbalize this, they feel this way inside. They need space from the pressure.
Things I learned in my sitch,
R talk is pressure Anger is pressure Those stupid little digs we all let slip are pressure What it will do to the kids is BIG pressure Adding to their guilt, even unintended, is pressure
Plus - it made the guilt worse.
I would have liked to have read this a long time ago. I still have a mountain of frustration and anger, but understanding helps.
Best,
Punk
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
