. "You gave up on mom and family months before you were D'd!"
Thank you steve Steve you were right about not dating should have waited. But this statement ^ I did t give up for 7-8 months. I tried to show her I changed, I tried talking to her about how we could repair the marriage. The kids saw me trying. So what was I suppose to do? She was full steam ahead. So that would be upsetting if they feel like I gave up. 1. I didn’t want divorce 2. I tried like I said for a while. As far as parent alienation. I have text messages between my daughter and ex, where the ex is calling me a loser, don’t talk to him, don’t worry you don’t have to spend a lot of time with him, be careful what you say to dad he will try and take you away from your mom. Telling her to hide things from me like her phone, terrible how I don’t spend every second with them when I am cooking. And it goes on from there. I would think that is pretty bad.
The truth, we LBSs love to get hung up on the truth. The truth isn't what your daughter is dealing with, she is dealing with her perception. Maybe she noticed you trying for 7-8 months. Maybe she didn't. What I can tell you is that she knows when GF was introduced and she knows when your D was final. That sequence will be top of her mind and define your R with your GF to your daughter.....FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.
As far as #2, Mr B nailed it. Action, not words. Your daughter, even if for a time she believes your W's words, will eventually allow your actions to trump what her mother is telling her. Kids are not as gullible as you think. My prediction is that if you were to break up with your GF, and continue to be the best father you can be, your daughter would eventually see through her mother's alienation. Right now they have a common enemy: your GF. So they are bonded in unity against her. Your W is using your daughter's hatred of your GF to turn her against you. So this is why I say your choice directly in front of you is a R with your daughter, or a R with you GF. I know in a perfect world, you would be able to balance the two. That you could keep both, have both rock solid in a vacuum, and that one wouldn't affect the other. Unfortunately we live in a the real world where it is never that cut and dry.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/17/2007:21 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
