Hey Wolfster! Good to see you back but sorry to hear things aren't going better!
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To top it all of my ex has brainwashed my daughter to hating me and my GF. So I guess my question/comment is this. What do I do? My GF and I are now arguing a lot more, my daughter absolutely hates my GF and never even gave her a chance. Do I continue down this rocky road or do I jump ship?
OK, so you've heard us talk about limerence and one thing you might want to consider is that this wonderful, awesome R you had with GF was really just the limerence phase. It takes a good year or two to get past limerence and really see the R for what it is, so now that the feel-good chemicals your body was releasing are beginning to subside, things may not seem so great after all.
If your D hates your GF then there may be something to that. One huge issue when dating with kids is the person you are dating can be a master of pretending to be a great mom in front of you while being something completely different when you're not around. My suggestion there would be to talk to your D and ask her why she feels that way, and when you do talk to her take her seriously and listen and validate. She may throw some stuff out that you feel is unfair or untrue, but consider it anyway. And like I said, validate everything she says.
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Half my heart is saying to let go the other half is saying once some of this stress is worked out, it will get better. Also, do I let my kids dictate to me who I date.
Well you want to be happy, but yes you should consider what your kids think. It's a big impact to their life. We have to make many, many sacrifices for our kids, and limiting who we date is definitely a consideration. Personally when I started dating I kept my GF completely separate from my kids for a long time. I didn't see her on the weeks I had the kids. First I told my kids about her, then waited even longer to introduce her to them. Even after introducing her I did not have her sleep over when I had the kids. The kids are grown now and the two D's are on their own so it's not a big deal anymore.
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My ex has a BF and the kids were taught not to tell me anything, meaning even if he was doing something wrong the kids wouldn’t tell me.
Don't pry, but do ask them to let you know if they ever feel their safety is at risk. You might tell them that if something is wrong but they feel like they can't discuss it with you, that you'll find a therapist they can talk to.
