I am also becoming more and more hopeless as time goes by and I think we have been living S for almost a year now. I know I shouldn't look at the clock, but focus on my changes and GAL but it is very hard to avoid these thoughts. Maybe a big 180 for me can be to switch them for patience, as you say, as long as I am breathing I have time to change and improve.
Pack, I am a little different from some other folks on the board. I think one of the big struggles of LBSs stuck in limbo is the open-ended nature of limbo. I think those of us that were older LBSs see that life is short, and wasting too much time waiting for someone that may never ever come around is not acceptable. So I advocate that LBSs set a drop-dead date. If the WAS is not fully committed back and working on the marriage by X date, then the LBS will move on and file for D. This is my opinion, and not one necessarily shared by the rest of the forum.
But the reason I believe in this is that it worked in my case. I had a date to work towards. I did one year past BD, that was how long I was willing to wait before I quit waiting and moved on myself. I also had a long-term relationship that ended and I was her Plan B for a very long time (think 12+ years), and it stifled my personal growth, and I lost out on a lot of potential Rs with others due to "waiting". So I have been on both sides of the equation (open-ended limbo and setting a date). And I can vouch for setting a date being freeing, giving me the ability to focus on DBing well, and having light at the end of the tunnel in my sitch!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
