Im looking for consistencey but my wifes not a bad person, I think assuming everything is manpulation is a stretch. Shes a person too. She's just trying to figure out how to be happy too. I love her and respect her enough to give her time and space to figure that out without me pursuing her
Is your wife a good person? what defines someone as "good" or "bad"? Shouldn't a person be defined by his or her actions? I believe everyone is multifaceted. Life happens and it brings out the worst or the best in people. You don't have to think of her as the bad guy here. But is what she's doing (or not doing) what you want in a life partner? Be careful of establishing a habit of constantly defending her (not to the board, to yourself).
In the beginning of my sitch, I would say to myself
My H is drinking heavily because he has childhood trauma, he's not a bad person. My H is withdrawing because he's depressed, he's not a bad person. My H moved out because he wants space for himself and he's confused, he's not a bad person.
you can keep filling in the blanks.
I still think my H is not a bad person. But he is still someone who is not worthy of my time and love.
