Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by Indy470
You both have questions about 180's and the Last Resort Technique- Can they go too far?

Look, the important part of doing a 180 is introducing the unexpected into your interactions. This doesn't mean that you should completely withdraw. Nor does the LRT mean that either. Doing the LRT means stopping the begging, pleading, pursuing, getting a grip on your own life and being more upbeat. But if your spouse starts to take an interest, that's a good sign and you should be available. Not clingy, mind you, but interested.

I think it might be tempting to back off completely and stop having contact because it might feel safer not to interact at all.But neither technique suggest your doing that. Re-read page 130. I wrote that if your spouse starts to show interest, readers should "Be loving in return, but do not become overly excited or enthusiastic."

But the bottom line is this, the proof is in the pudding. If your spouse is responding lovingly, you're on the right track. If not, you have to finetune what you're doing. Hope this helps. Do re-read the section on the last resort technique. Okay?
Michele


So this is a post from michelle.
Thoughts?


Agree with MWD 100%. The only thing I would caution is that this doesn't mean that the minute the WAS responds lovingly, you go all in on pursuit and pressure again. I am sure MWD doesn't mean that. Be sure by giving it some time for consistency that it is NOT a manipulation attempt on their part. I've said it hundreds of times on this forum. When a LBS get really good at GAL, 180ing, detaching, and when necessary, LRT, the WAS will often feel the loss of control over their LBS. This makes them nervous because the one thing they feel they can rely on is the LBS being there as Plan B. So often then will start to reach out, start to respond lovingly, to make sure that the LBS is still firmly there as Plan B. Once they feel that is confirmed, the dynamic will go back to the way it was prior to the loving response(s).

So yes, if your WAS start responding lovingly, and consistently over time, and you can be sure it is more than a temp-check/manipulation attempt, then the LBS should start showing a little interest to test the waters even more.

We've seen it over and over again on this forum where a LBS responds to hastily to a "nice" response from their WAS only to see the WAS retreat the other way just as quickly.


You see I think your response Steve is going to be confusing to Indy. Her texting him I love you and miss you is pure manipulation on her part.