Gigi, I agree with Steve. At this point, you need to protect yourself as he is not going to do that for you.
Why do you feel the need to even consider this request? I got stuck in trying to 'play nice' in the hope that I would get what I want/needed, but that approach does not work with people who are prioritizing other people over their family. Protect yourself, protect your kids. If he takes away the mortgage and bills money, then you get legal help immediately.
Also, on to telling the kids: there is so much online and in books about what to say. I spent hours in IC and MC coming up with the 'right' things to say (and we had to tell the kids a few times as H came back and left again, promising them he would never divorce me ever, at some point in the middle). After all that 'practice', I learned the best approach is simple facts that don't carry much emotional weight and letting the kids lead with questions. I have an aversion to saying things like 'mummy and daddy are not in love anymore' or 'daddy doesn't love mummy anymore' because to kids it makes love seem arbitrary and what if you suddenly stop loving them?
Sticking to a line like 'You know how Daddy hasn't been around very much lately? Well Daddy is moving out for good. But you will still see him xxx and xxx days and we both love you so, so much. Any questions?' Less is more, let the kids lead. They really don't want to know the nitty gritty details. They also don't want to know who loves whom or not and why. They want to know where they are going to sleep, who will be there after school, how much their life is or isn't going to change and that you two are on the same page. Sticking to the actual facts is an easy way for both of you to be on the same page.
Good luck with all you have ahead of you today and on Saturday! (((Gigi)))
