Ugh, I am really sick with a sinus infection thanks to S2 coughing directly into my face over the weekend. I’m on antibiotics, nasal spray, and hay fever medicine. My skull hurts.
X did end up responding after I posted the other day. He said he “wasn’t opposed to the principles” behind the new parenting plan but felt it was “restrictive” and “missed many aspects”.
He wants to go from zero overnights to six per month including consecutive nights during the week. Funnily enough, he doesn’t want the every other weekend time I offered. Obviously wants to keep his weekends free.
I offered two per month increasing to four when S2 turns three in February and six when he turns five. A mix of weeknights and weekends and shared holidays. It’s child-focused and endorsed by family law.
So now my task is to try and explain why S2 would benefit from a gradual transition to increased time. Fortunately I have a lot of evidence with his behaviour since the impromptu sleepover to support this.
I also need to point out that this transition could have occurred over the last six months but X declined to take the increased time when offered, so the process has to start here and now.
Keeping this out of court is my goal but I’m also not going to compromise S2’s emotional wellbeing. This is classic X - shifting the goalposts, unwilling to compromise, entitled and selfish.
I never pry into X’s parenting time. Maybe I should, I dunno. I know that accidents happen, but S2 has been returned with scratches from a pit bull, busted lip from a jetski, cuts from falling on rocks.
Then there’s more important concerns about X’s ability to nurture S2. I remember talking to X-MIL and even she admitted that X had no empathy. I do worry about that affecting S2.
I’ve honestly never met a person with less emotional intelligence than X. So yes, I do feel it’s my duty to offset that with my own empathy and teach S2 to be considerate of others, and yes, sadly, limit his dad’s influence.
Of course I do want S2 to feel safe and comfortable when he’s at his dad’s house. But his home is with me. I’m happy to work towards a 70/30 arrangement by the time S2 starts school. That’s more than I ever thought I’d agree to.
I know there are bitter ex-wives out there who use the children to get back at their ex-husbands. That isn’t me and it’s not who I am. My only concern is making sure S2 has the best opportunity in life in every way.
