Pommy, just a few thoughts for you. First, we both know that "click" can happen and turn everything around in/re feeling attracted to your partner, because it happened to both of us. If you need a little reinforcement to know you aren't crazy, it happened to me too.

Have you read Esther Perel? You might read Mating in Captivity if you haven't. She talks a lot about attraction, how we want what we don't have, the inherent friction between love and desire.

Finally... wasn't he in touch with her on WhatsApp before? My H told me that they used WhatsApp because it is totally secure and everything deleted gets deleted forever. Wondering if there was some action on WhatsApp that you wouldn't be able to see, not just the few texts. Not to freak you out.

I think your boundary is a great one. Can't work on your M with a third party in the picture.

You've got this.

Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing