1) All suffering comes from desire. With his brief moment of clarity the other day, you might have gotten your hopes up a bit about this event then his behavior dashed those hopes. Try to have ZERO expectations of him.
2) You are not obligated to include him in any further events like this. He wants to go off, let him experience what the reality of divorce will be like - separate birthdays, separate holidays. Let the reality of his choices slap him in the face now. Don't make it easy on him. So long as he behaves inappropriately, he doesn't deserve to be around your extended family. Don't allow the disrespect.
