Trying to keep hope

[MrBrside]

LH,
I do love her unconditionally though. I dont mean
I'll be her friend while shes having an affair or be a
doormat. But, I do mean I'm willing to give her space and wait for her while this
plays out and see where things end up, while not giving up on her.
I still love her, just from a distance right now.

Indy,

This is crigne worthy - It get it.. I was there once - most people on this board probably felt this way..

You "unconditionally love" the person you thought she was - The person you thought she was is long gone. That person walked away when she cheated. You are still hooked on the idea of who your WW was..

And from what you have posted, she wasn't all that anyway.. She has a lot of faults, but you look past these - But you are so messed up, are are cherry picking the lovey dovey ways in how you want to remember WW... Hence all this unconditional love BS.

AS posted a great post yesterday on Mummins post.

You're recovering. Right after BD you excuse all the bad treatment and blame yourself for it. Then you come to realize that her bad treatment of you is a reflection of her character flaws, not yours. But the feelings are still there (I think this is where you are now). Then eventually the feelings fade and you're left with an honest, unflinching appraisal of who she has become, and most likely it won't be someone you're interested in. So don't beat yourself up too much trying to sort it all out, it will come with time. It took about 2 years post BD for me.

People here can post advice on a daily basis - only YOU can control your actions though. This unconditional love BS shows you are still running on emotion and fear. You just cant see a future without WW - This is a weakness and sees respect ( self respect ) and respect from others crumbling.

And as i stated 2 pages back - your WW knows this, and she will string you along nicely at every oppertunity, if she feels that she is losing that contol she craves or just fancies an ego boost. She is playing a game and she knows exactly which buttons to press. Sandy has written loads of this about knowing when a wife is genuine. Your WW has shown nothing to reflect a genuine want to reconcile. She has just fed your BS for 4 hours.. I mean 4 hours !!!! - Thats 4 hours you could have spent wokring out, washing the car, tidying the garden, with friends, working.. 4 hours of a life wasted. After the 4 hours, i suspect you then sat there watching your phone, with your head spinning..

You need to man up Indy - If i was in your sitch, i wouldnt hesitate to block her. You cant control her, but you can reduce the impact she has.

Man up, move on and enjoy life