Can we start talking about this, in fact can you help me through the GAL etc. stuff? I could really use someone who can assess just what I'm doing right and wrong, and since you too are a victim of this perhaps you can help? Thanks, Tom
tom_h, I have been over to your thread. I cannot remember if you read Divorce Remedy or Divorce Busting, but I would start there. You came in with a fairly advanced sitch, and you started asking very specific questions, looking for support and feedback from either LBHs that had their W up and leave, or from WAWs/WWs that up and left their Hs. Those were very specific. Some of the feedback you got was related to DBing: Let her go to get her back, going strictly No Contact (the books above refer to it as Last Resort Technique). OUr usual cookie-cutter advice is:
Focus on yourself. GAL: reconnect with old friends, reengage with hobbies you used to involve, learn new hobbies and take up new ventures (go back to school? enroll in guitar lessons, etc), and work on detachment. You need to get to a point where you are happy on your own!
Please read Michelle's books though, you need that foundation for how to move forward.
So even though my marriage is not repairable you think that DB and DR are still applicable? Probably just the parts about yourself, not about her.
By the way, a process question here. Thinking about my original post in the Newcomer's Forum, should I begin separate posts to discuss separate issues, or keep the issues all glommed together? I would like to separately discuss SSMs, since that was my situation; learning how to communicate with a woman the way she wants it; how to achieve this new state of self-happiness before I start dating or even taking a woman to a movie; how to forgive and move on; etc. Any advice?
