Your anger is a stage of grief. Like you said, you’re not sad – you’re mad!
I get it. A 57 year old man went and unilaterally decided to blow up, not just his life, but yours too. There is plenty of collateral damage when bomb drop happens.
Feeling are fleeting. Your anger is real. It is normal. It is proper. It is justified. And it is temporary!!!
Let your emotions wash over you.
You need to work through this anger and release it. Safely. And not at H; you have worked hard and accomplished much, don’t want to undo things.
Sweating the anger out is a good way. A brisk walk, yard work, get a punching bag, go to the gym, and so on.
Yes, anger does push us. Do not make decisions based upon emotions – especially temporary anger. Use your anger to propel you towards something, like cleaning the garage or digging the garden, something not involving H.
This lets your subconscious mind work through this, and not reinforce your emotions. It happens best, when you aren’t actually consciously working at it. Like how answers present themselves when you are at peace. It does happen, and I know it doesn’t feel that way, which is kind of the point. Such is the counterintuitive journey.
Now, telling others about your situation is separate from your anger. You are tying the two together, and they need not be. And shouldn’t be.
Do not send a text! If/when you are going to tell them, use the phone. You say, and I can see, that right now you do not want to talk about it with them – so don’t. If they find something on social media, deal with it then. You don’t need to borrow trouble.
You will know when you are ready to talk about this. I suspect it will be sooner than you realize. This anger is a step towards acceptance, emotional understanding. Have faith, this is a good and healthy thing. (((PLC)))
Get in your intellectual “car” and think about what you would tell your family. What you want them to know. What support you would like from them. And so on. Think and proact, not feel and react.
Take some time to work through the anger; it will take as long as it takes. Realize its part of your healing. It’s healthy. It’s ok.
Share and vent here. You are among friends who understand.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
