I had last evening and most of today by myself, it gave me the opportunity to read DR. After being confused on how I should proceed, I now realize that from January to August I was basically doing LRT and that what LH19 suggests is what the book refers to as 'after' the LRT. Click! Now I get it.
I've done the work in the book and set goals. I'm still a bit confused as to how I'll know when he's done BSing me and actually sincere if it comes to that and he wants to R, but that's a bit off in the future, if at all. We won't be able to work on R until he removes OW from his life and proves that he's done so, that's my top boundary.
Last night H suggested that maybe I could 'visit' him in his man cave after D9 went to sleep so I informed him the bakery is closed as long as he's having an A. It didn't go over well but not as bad as I thought it would. He simply replied 'whatever, I'm not going to fight with you' to which I responded 'that's great because there's nothing to fight over' and I calmly went back to reading (not DR).
When he got up this morning he was a bit cranky and short, I stayed calm and pleasant. When he returned from work in the afternoon seemed a bit calmer and amicable, I avoided being in the same space as him as much as I could. He and D9 were going racing and usually I would see them off at the door but this time I had her come to where I was and I kissed her and told her to have fun. I noticed that H hung around the kitchen a bit longer than usual but when I didn't come he left. He just called a bit ago to say they're on their way home and stopping off for a snack and wanted to know if I wanted him to bring something home for me.
Our typical pattern is that I get angry, he waits me out and in a few days I go back to 'normal'. He probably figures this is just a phase and if he waits me out the same will happen. I'm preparing myself for this to get way worse before it gets better.
