You are bringing up a strong point about H trusting me with the finances. This was always how our marriage was, he would bring home his pay and I would pay our bills.
He obviously hid funds from me, but until this period, we have always had what was needed to pay any bills. I mean it wasn’t a lot of extra but we paid our bills.
As a logical person (I know he has none now) if I was planning on leaving, I would not want to trust him with the money. Last summer when he was “engaged” to OW1, I took all the funds out of our savings and put it in my name only. I pull from there as needed, but I do not need the surprise that the money is gone when I need it. I left a tiny balance of a few hundred dollars in the joint account, but here we are a year later and if he has gone to the joint account and seen it is almost empty, he has not said anything so I think he hasn’t.
So either that is him thinking he can just have his bonuses and leave the rest to the home accounts, but again, as much as I appreciate that it is still the status quo shows me that he is partially in two worlds and isn’t all the way in with his extra life. I don’t know why that is, it just is. We all know it can change, but it is confusing.
