Im a bit of control freak and really working on this, im at a stage where i take no interest in his life i dont even know where he lives at the moment, i have definitely worked on this and only even try and control my actions and emotions.

H felt that he wasnt my priority, that he wasnt 1 st on the list that he was always “later” after the kids after my work and in reality between work and dropping and picking up the kids I was exhausted and yes i just about managed to do all the basics, i felt burnt out and with his we need to do something about our marriage i just felt like i was pushing him away more and more the more he pressed. Just before he ended things he booked a spa for us for a long weekend and arranged for his mum to have kids, this was the first time in months that i felt excited and a relief that he has done something rather than pressed me. I was in ic, and honestly i feel so much better, i just think im having a feeling sorry for myself day particularly after he said i stopped loving you.

He doesnt want to tell the kids about ow, as in he only wants them to know thT she is a friend thats it. Its just one of those sneaky ways to integrate her into their lives. Ow is 22 for goodness sake and lives at home with mum and dad.
He said he would like her to get to know the kids.

You are right about victim mentality and im really changing that for myself, anything you advice i read about it. I should have heard him when he was screaming that we are in trouble, i shouldnt have felt sorry for myself. But that is all history now.