Some of the impulsive behaviour were to do with money spending, he is terrible with money and i think always felt restricted that i might not agree with large purchases, i would often cave in in the end, but now looking at our financials now certainly haven’t put us in a good place. Little things like he wanted The treadmill in the house and we have 2 small children and no space for it, i felt garage would be best for it....but he was t happy with that ( i didn't cave on that one and its still in the garage now!) but he felt that was me stopping him from getting fit.... I would say most of these things have happened in the last 18 months and he seems to think that i have emotionally destroyed him. He would want to spend time together, but wouldnt actively do anything e.g book a babysitter and take me on a date, he would expect me to change Or do something. I mean i could list so many examples here.
IMHO - it sounds like your H doesn't want to be responsible and often unloads his feelings onto you. It also sounds like you get exhausted by it. I can see why you are emotional drained. When he did those things... How much did you try to control the situation? Did you use any guilt tripping? name calling? etc.?
Originally Posted by Gigi123
He felt ignored as he has been waving red flags and saying to me that we need to do something about our M, but i did nothing and just felt more resentful that he was drinking every night and choosing not to go to bed with me. A terrible pattern of behaviour.
I completely understand the resentment feeling... but it's victim mind thinking... and honestly...only hurts YOU.
Originally Posted by Gigi123
He openly told me that he doesnt love me today and he just wants to concentrate on being a dad and thats it. But he has been barely present for the past 5 months and behaved with little integrity or honesty.
Eek. What nerve to say that to you.
Originally Posted by Gigi123
We only ever communicate about the children now, and occasionally if He brings our relationship, i just nod to what he is saying and dont engage really.
I think this is fine. It does feel like there is resentment on both sides. Unfortunately - you can't control how your H processes his. Are you in an IC to work through yours?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
