New to the club

[Ready2Change]

So after 9 weeks of silence I get a text from W at work last week, “Want to meet me tomorrow night at xxx?” Needless to say I was shocked. I waited 4 hours to clear my head and responded “Sure”.

It’s been 11 months since BD and this is the first time she’s wanted to meet with me alone. I went with no expectations but figured this could go one of 3 ways.

1. She is filing for divorce.
2. She wants to come home.
3. ???

So we we had dinner, a few beers and light conversation about our sons, families, sports and current events. No relationship talks. So I guess #3 was the outcome. I’m still perplexed by this random reach out. Was this just a temp check?

Still standing,

Taz

Hi Taz,

I am not following your sitch, but the post above caught my eye.

As you know, no R talk is good. If she brings R up, listening and validating are your goals. Listen to understand. Do not share your point of view. STFU is the rule. Direct questions get a deflection--> "I am not sure. I need time to think about that". Then discuss here, make a decision, and give her a response.



You have had 11 months to work on yourself. Were you behaving different? Do you think she noticed a difference?

We are all given the gift of time to work on ourselves going through this process. Do you believe she found you more attractive than the guy (YOU) she left?

The game of attraction and seduction is complicated until we learn the new skills needed. Then it is easy. Have you learned and practiced these new skills?

You may be one of the lucky ones that gets a chance to reconcile the R.

Do not chase the squirrel.