Update and boy, it shows the way they can change on a dime in MLC.
H and I have a large tax bill. We do not have the money because he spent all of his bonuses without me knowing.
At the beginning of the year, I went to speak with him and suggested that bonuses are given to the “house, with 50% set aside for taxes, 25% to the house towards other bills and the balance for him to do whatever he wanted. I offered that because I know deep down he resents earning bonuses and having to give share them when I am able to get the paycheck and pay all bills. Coincidentally or not, the bonuses began at the beginning of the MLC period, and my IC thinks that along with whatever other things threw him into MLC that he came to a realization that money cannot make you happy.
So anyway, today I approach and ask, do you have any money for the taxes? I was met with “no why would I?” On the second bomb drop he mentioned he had a good sized bonus and he would give it directly to bring down our bill. So I went into his work portal and checked, and yep, about three weeks after his D talk he got that bonus. I know it’s gone.
So I was so angry, I went and knocked on the door and went in and said, “well, we have to pay something, this is all I have saved, but we have property taxes and other bills like car insurance. So it will take years to pay, plus next year is coming and we will owe this years.
He suggested us taking second. We have plenty of equity. He said, “I thought that’s what you were going to do” I said, “that’s was a worst case scenario of you don’t get bonuses, but I can look into it tomorrow. I suggest we pay everything off so all there is is car, house and utilities.”
THEN FRIENDS, LISTEN TO THIS: he said, “from now on I’ll just give you the checks right away.” Liar I responded, do you remember earlier this year, we had this conversation about bonuses? AND HE HAD THE GALL TO SAY, “YES, I REMEMBER I DON’T FORGET ANYTHING. HAHAHA (well, he forgot his vows??)
So, I am not going to push a fight, so I just said, there are things that need to be done here on the house, it would be helpful to have some cash. So I mentioned, I’ll look at loans and he said, “just get a loan that won’t mess everything up on the house.”
It was a weird feeling, we do not fight, I know he lies, but I didn’t get the distinct feeling he was thinking of leaving anytime soon. I was on the edge of saying, I don’t want to have a huge mortgage so we need to discuss further. I will look I to loans, I did ask him if he wanted a second or a refi and he asked for whatever is better for the house. So we will see.
Anyway, any comments about what was good or bad, please let me know. I value all of your input. On long nights with basic NC, this board is so lifesaving.
