Thanks for the welcomes and reassurances all. I wasn't sure about posting here at all and although I have friends, I just don't feel comfortable discussing this subject with them. For my divorced friends, it's settled. They have no interest in dating. Besides, I like the anonymity of the internet for this type of discussion.

Dawn,

With regard to internet dating, I live in a rural area also. Some of my friends have tried it and they have a saying. "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." I haven't even looked yet but I feel a bit discouraged from the get go.

DonH,

Thanks for your post. It sounds as though we're in similar places. I've established that I don't need a guy but I'm questioning whether or not I want one and on what level.

kml.

Your questions are thought provoking! It helps to put this in writing whether or not you read any further. It's a potpourri of reasons why I've waited so long. Initially, I dated a couple of guys but it was just too soon. (One was eerily similar to my x and I didn't want to circle that block again so I quickly put a lid on it) The other guy had been divorced way longer than I and was looking to get married again. I knew I didn't want that (at Ieast, not on his timetable) I decided it was time to just take a break .I made up my mind to choose to be happy or at the very least, content with my life regardless of ever having a romantic partner again. I discovered how much I enjoy my alone time and not having to be accountable to anyone. I immersed myself in getting a life and I enjoyed it so much I just really didn't have the interest or the time to devote to dating anyone.

I'm sort of an extroverted introvert. I can conduct myself well in social situations but often feel the need to pull back afterward to recharge my batteries or risk losing my mind. (LoL)

Regarding sex, I don't have much desire unless I'm in love. I suppose I'm old fashioned and out of date but I've never been able to separate the two. That feeling has probably intensified since menopause.

Your bf is blessed to have you in his life and you're very kindhearted to do what you've done and continue to do for him.

bttrfly,

Thanks for your warm welcome. If I knew for certain what I wanted, I probably wouldn't be here. I'm hoping it will become clearer as time goes by.